In case you are lucky enough to have never heard of it, “slut-shaming” refers to the social convention in which women are made to feel guilty or inferior due to actual or presumed, so-called “deviant” past sexual experiences. An all too common action against women, it seems that many never even stop to ponder why the same isn’t being done to men as well. While there are a variety of theories about this, my theory, in a nutshell, is that this is a tool being used by society in order to deter sexual liberation for women. If nothing else, this certainly explains why women are always targeted in these scathing attacks while the men they sleep with, walk off Scott-free. Either way, although many are aware of the fact that these double standards are typically placed on women only, very few take the time to understand why. The following is a closer look at 5 reasons slut shaming only works on women.
Sexual Standards Are Established and Upheld by Men
Many Cultures and Religions Place Great Emphasis on the Purity of Women Only
In addition, men have always been at the forefront of most mainstream religions that still exist today. For instance, in Christianity, women are often encouraged to “be seen and not heard”, and to this day, some deny women the right to speak or even stand in the pulpit. Similarly, the Muslim faith has also been under fire for quite some time in relation to its treatment of women. For instance, in some Muslim countries, women are coerced into marrying their sexual attackers or else they may suffer a lifetime of judgment, abuse, and seclusion. Worse, in some Muslim traditions, thousands of women die at the hands of family members each year in ‘honor killings,’ a form of extreme punishment exacted to regain family honor in the wake of what is considered a sexual crime, such as adultery or other sexual impropriety, or if the victim has been raped. This makes religious women less likely to embrace their sexuality as they are literally being taught to view it as evil. Luckily, we are finally in an age in which things like this are subject to change.
Women Are Pressured to Shun “Slutty” Women
Given these facts, many women are often manipulated into the shameful act of shunning other women based on their sexual reputations. That’s right, the label of “whore” is so potent, that one must even account for the potential of being guilty by association. In other words, given that men are in charge of constructing our societal views overall, and are often all too eager to label a woman as a “slut” whenever one steps outside of their ideals, rather than fighting to help other women shed this label, many women are eager to join in on the mistreatment in order to signal to other men that they are superior. You’ll often here phrases such as, “Yuck, she’s so nasty! I would never!” However, she just might be thinking, I hope they don’t figure out how many times I did! In fact, according to one author’s assertions, if women just stopped to consider the bigger picture, things would likely change for the better.
It’s a Cycle of “Defensive Othering”
For those who are yet unfamiliar, the concept of “defensive othering” refers to internalizing shame placed on you by others and then trying to rid yourself of this shame by passing it on. In other words, when women are called sluts, rather than defending themselves, many internalize this treatment and simply pass it on to the next victim at the first opportunity. This vicious cycle is why even circles of female friends tend to fall out over time. Sadly, this is more rampant in our time than ever. Studies have shown that nearly half of high school girls (46%) experience slut-shaming and sexual harassment at some point, and for some, this behavior is actually the norm. Doesn’t high school represents the age group in which many begin to explore the more adult side of their sexuality? Then it can be presumed that many young girls suffer self-esteem issues because of this.
Double Standards Based On Socioeconomic Status
Lastly, some studies have shown that “slut shaming” is also based on socioeconomic status. In other words, behaviors that may be considered “cool” for affluent women, may bring shame upon those who are underprivileged. For instance, in one study, it was determined that affluent women often engage in the same or similar behaviors as the underprivileged women they label trashy for committing such acts. This means, at times, slut shaming is also used as a tool by affluent women to assert themselves as superior to lesser privileged ones.
Overall, the psychology behind slut shaming is simultaneously complex and simple. On the one hand, there are many factors contributing to the reasons in which women continue to suffer this societal abuse. On the other hand, to be frank, the reason slut-shaming is still such a big issue is because most have embraced this dysfunctional patriarchal society as is. In other words, as long as men can continue to convince women that their worth is directly tied to the activity of their vaginas, some women will also reduce themselves to talking vaginas, and women as a whole will continue to be treated as objects and parts rather than whole, complex beings.
