In 2022, it’s pretty safe to assume that you, the Reader, have a fully charged vibrator in your nightstand at this very moment–a sign that our cultural path towards sexual enlightenment is being paved with orgasms for women. However, in the pantheon of sex toys, vibrators are just one of many purveyors of sexual bliss. The following list contains some things you’ve never heard of, some that you’ve always been curious about, and some that strike a chord of lust-laced fear in your heart, but keeping an open mind is part of the adventure.
Wartenberg Wheels: Also known as pinwheels, this device looks like something you’d find in a medieval torture chamber but rolling it across your own, or your lover’s skin produces a delicious sensation, especially across delicate tissue like the nipples, labia, or cock. The amount of pressure will determine whether you experience a light tickling feeling or pleasure-tinged pain.
Glass toys: Many people are afraid of the word “glass” and its association with “breakage,” but any quality glass toy is made of solid borosilicate and is incredibly unlikely to break unless you drop it directly onto a hard surface. The texture of glass can meld more easily with the body’s fluids, meaning less lube is needed. You can also easily play with the temperature of a glass toy: put it in the fridge for a moment for a delectable chill. Lastly, glass is fully sterilizable so that you can use your glass toys with yourself and your lovers, both anally and vaginally (just make sure you’re boiling the toys between partners and ALWAYS before going from anal play to vaginal).
Nipple Clamps: Another severely underrated toy, clamps can be used during masturbation to increase sensation (and leave your hands free for other things) or during partner play, and, for those who tend toward exhibitionism, for decoration. There are many different styles and pressures to choose from. Some are adjustable, which is an excellent place to start if you’re unsure how much pressure you can take. Others come adorned with chains and jewels or are weighted for extra sensation, and, for the brave of heart, some are attached to a clitoral clamp.
Vaginal Plugs: As far as I know, these toys are relatively new, but honestly, they’re the sleeper stars of my collection. I have one by Square Peg (G-Squeeze, $42-$72) and comes in sizes small to XL. They’re made of high-quality, squishy silicone and are the perfect toy for anyone who likes the feeling of being filled. Try putting one in while stimulating your clit or before going out on a hot date.
Vampire Gloves: These gloves have sharp pins embedded in them and are meant to be run over skin. Try blindfolding your lover and surprising them with the feeling of claws being raked over their skin. The amount of pressure utilized will determine whether that feeling is balanced on the precipice of pleasure or plunging towards pain.
Pumps: When we hear sex pumps, we think penises, but there are a growing number of pump toys out there explicitly geared towards vulvas, clitorises, and nipples and are worth exploring. A pump utilizes concentrated suction to increase blood flow to the area, which heightens sensitivity. Some toys, like the Lickgasm ($130), use a pump to draw skin up towards a tongue for a simultaneous sucking and flicking sensation.
Weighted Butt Plugs: These are pretty straightforward and lovely if you like the feeling of anal fullness or pulling. They’re also an excellent option for public play as the added weight makes it impossible to forget that you’re wearing a plug–and no one else knows it.
Nipple Suckers: If clamps aren’t your thing, try suckers. These stimulate the nipples by applying a vacuum-like suction to them and, when used correctly, the suction is continual and intended to simulate someone’s mouth. Depending on the size of the suckers, you can apply this suction to just the nipple or the entire areola.
App-Based Wearable Vibrators: I know I said no vibrators, but these things are a different breed entirely. Both WeVibe and Lovense make a version, and they’re the panty vibrators of the future. The vibration is controlled via an app and, therefore, can be controlled from anywhere in the world. Some are g-spot vibrators, and some are also clitoral, but they take public play to an entirely new level.
Electric Cock Shockers: Explore your inner dominatrix with remote-controlled reward and punishment systems. Make sure he does what you want and how you want. His cock will be trained just like a puppy with these powerful tools! Wireless remotes control the light pulses, vibrations, audio, and electro shocks. Just fasten the adjustable Velcro strap around his cock and balls, extend the antenna, and get ready for some serious training! Most models work up to 500 feet away and are really fun for public play. Didn’t do the dishes? Bzzt! Don’t like how he’s looking at the waitress at the bar? Bzzt! Bzzt! Not making you cum fast enough? BZZZZT!
Monster Dildos: Not just for the cam babes, these fantasy dildos come in all shapes and sizes. If you’re into supernatural romance fantasy, there are dildos shaped like centaurs, dragons, and alien tentacles. There is truly an incredible array of sizes if you want to see how much you can take. For something glittery and beautiful that’ll feel amazing and will also be a great conversation starter, look no further.
