Welcome to guys we FUCKED is the first thing you hear when you click the play button. It’s also the second thing you hear. Both times it’s emphasized for effect, instantly revealing an I don’t give a shit who’s precious morals we offend with that word or what it means attitude. Guys we FUCK! Guys we FOOOK! The words come courtesy of Corinne and Krystyna, standup comedians who’ve used their gift of humor to effectively become sex and relationship therapists for thousands of millennial women.
Using the name Sorry About Last Night, they started their phenomenally popular podcast Guys We Fucked after Corinne was dumped in a Panera Bread restaurant. Along with Krystyna, she parlayed that heartbreak (or momentary inconvenience) into an influential online empire. Their anti-slut shaming podcast features interviews with guys they’ve slept with, resulting in some seriously funny moments and some serious life lessons.
In the past 2 years, they have interviewed countless comedians and other people with cool sexual stories. These self-proclaimed feminist women have used their platform to empower women’s sexuality. I got to speak with them about sex, podcasting, slut shaming and more.
How has the podcast affected your real life relationships and sex life? Like, are you more inclined to try new things (i.e. sex clubs, threesomes, etc) to talk about them on the podcast?
Krystyna: The podcast has affected my sex life with my boyfriend, Stephen, in a lot of ways, both good and bad. We had a major fight after he listened to the first few episodes because I enthusiastically shouted to the world that he loves to get his butt hole licked. His freak-out was totally understandable, especially considering he lives a very private life. I mean, he JUST recently put a profile picture of himself on his social media. I think Stephen knew I was going to divulge some personal things, but it came as a big shock when he listened because I blurted a lot out without getting his consent first. Now, if we try something new in bed or if something goes awry as we try to bone, I ask if he’s cool with me talking about it on the podcast. We recently had our first ever threeway experience which was a big success and brought us closer together. I give major credit to the podcast for making that happen, specifically our past guest, comedian Chrissie Mayer. She was a unicorn in several threeways and after hearing her talk about the fun she had, I was inspired to take action and make it happen. I’ve talked to Stephen a lot about wanting to have a threeway in the past and he was on board (duh), but every time he would try to take action, I would chicken out. The podcast has taught me that I need to speak up about my fantasies instead of waiting around for him to make the move. And to anyone reading this, I say: If an idea titillates you, talk to your partner about it and see if they would be on board! Hell, even talking about a threeway with Stephen and incorporating it into dirty talk made our sex hotter.
Corinne: While cathartic in some ways, the podcast has kind of put a damper on my bachelorette lifestyle because I can no longer trust peoples’ motives for wanting to sleep with me. And that’s sad because I am not famous. At all. I feel like, if anything, I am more sexually conservative than when we started – mostly because knowing you will have to talk about something if you do it really helps you filter out questionable decisions you might’ve otherwise poo-pooed. I absolutely never do anything just to talk about it on the podcast. Believe me, I had been to an S&M club ages before Guys We Fucked was even a glimmer in my mind. I am and have always been a sexually explorative person. As far as relationships go, after almost two years of doing this, I’m just not sure it’s possible to start a new relationship that is healthy under these circumstances. But only time will tell.
Have you encountered people who want to fuck you just to be on the podcast? Or the opposite- people who don’t want to fuck you because they don’t want you to talk about it?
Krystyna: I make it pretty clear that I’m in a relationship, so very rarely do I get approached by guys we are trying to get it in.
Corinne: I have encountered many people* who want to fuck me just to be on the podcast. Dear god, aim higher, this isn’t even televised. I have not encountered anyone who won’t fuck me because of the podcast. I mean, remember I’m fucking straight guys here! But I think many people who could’ve been potential boyfriends remained purely physical because of the podcast – not because they didn’t want to talk about the sex on air, just because straight men don’t stereotypically have an ego that can handle a girl who has fucked a lot of guys and spoken about it very publicly in great detail. And, that, my friends, is why slut shaming came to be in the first place. Let’s control these women who are getting what they want and enjoying it by telling them what they are doing is gross and devalues them. It’s pretty genius, really. If religion is the opiate of the masses, slut-shaming is the herding of the whores.
Since this is an anti-slut shaming podcast- how have you experience slut shaming/sexism? How do you think the podcast is helping to change that?
Krystyna: I’ve had many instances of cat-calling since my double D’s came in. The ones that infuriate me the most are when I don’t answer the guy, or tell him to stop talking to me, and he responds with “FUCK YOU BITCH, YOU UGLY ANYWAY!”. Doing the podcast and talking that frustration out has made it clear that those dudes are just butt-hurt that you don’t want to entertain their advances. It still blows my mind when it happens, I will say. One theory that Corinne and I talked about early on in the podcast is that whenever a person uses the term Slut/Whore/Ho/Etc. in a malicious way, it comes from one of two places: 1) They’re angry that you don’t want to sleep with them or they perceive you to be the type of person who would never give them the time of day or 2) They are threatened by how comfortable you are with your sexuality. For this reason, we really try and encourage people to be as comfortable with their sexuality and themselves as possible, whether you love sex and sleep with whoever you want or you aren’t that sexual or you’re a virgin or you prefer to save sex for someone you’re in love with! None of these mindsets are “wrong” and if more people were comfortable with themselves, they would stop drinking so much Hater-ade and put an end to projecting their insecurities on to others.
Corinne: Every particular group of people experiences shitty stuff that is unique to that group and women are no different. I’m not one to go around belly-aching about injustice – I’ve led a fucking nice life so far and I’m pleased as punch and super grateful – but what I will say is that it’s crazy to me that in the year 2015, after we’ve put a white man on the moon and a black man in the White House, that I just got barked at on the street last night because I was wearing tight pants. I think the podcast is just part of this amazing feminism revolution that’s happening right now – Krystyna and I are two of many strong voices that I don’t think a lot of people, especially men, really even thought were out there. I think the podcast takes this statistic of women not being treated equally and puts two faces to it.
What was the experience of being censored by iTunes and then being number 1 on iTunes like?
Krystyna: That gave me so much reassurance and joy. When we were initially censored, we weren’t told exactly why and it was a frustrating battle to get in touch with someone at iTunes who could explain the removal. Fortunately, the listeners rallied with us and tweeted at/emailed iTunes and it worked! We got a phone call a few days later from Apple, they explained the mishap and put us back on the charts that day. I understand that from looking at the title of the podcast, most people think one thing and then after listening, have a totally different impression of the show and what we are all about. We did that on purpose. iTunes promotes and sells songs that have extremely misogynistic messages and that’s fine because: Freedom of speech! We got that point across to them, and I’m happy to say Apple was very apologetic and understanding.
Corinne: It was like the first time “Wannabe” by the Spice Girls came out and then when Geri left the Spice Girls. But reversed.
Does talking about sex all the time make sex less sexy? I’ve always been afraid that if I made something I love my job I would stop loving it, but I don’t know if that would apply to sex. What are your thoughts?
Krystyna: YES! It really does. It’s like if you work at a coffee shop and all your friends talked to you about coffee when you are at work and then when you go out to bars your friends are still talking to you about coffee and their issues with coffee. The last thing you’ll want after that is a cup of coffee. Ok, I’m being a little dramatic, but it does make sex stale at times. What always brings me back to loving what we do is when we hear from the listeners about how much it’s helped them feel better about themselves or improved their sex life. We have received so many mind blowing emails from people who have overcome the most horrific circumstances and they tell us something like, “and then I started listening to your podcast and was finally able to see myself as a sexual being.” That is the most priceless thing to me. Corinne and I are big on doing comedy with a purpose and this show has a very important purpose to a lot of people all over the world and I couldn’t be happier about that.
Corinne: Dear god yes. At this point, apart from when I’m actually recording the podcast, I would rather talk about anything in the entire world except sex. Including sports. Ok, actually, I just took that way too far. Number one thing I don’t want to talk about off-air is sports, number two is sex. I get sick of things very quickly. After I graduated film school, I didn’t go to the movies for an entire calendar year. I think the reason behind this is that I have a severely over-analytical mind (like, Dawson Leery bad) and so once my brain is trained to dissect a topic I can’t shut it off, and, instead, I just need to avoid whatever that topic is at all costs. In this case, sex. Sex is so much about losing yourself and it’s very hard to lose yourself when you’re thinking about the deeper meaning in why the guy you’ve always done missionary with suddenly decided to initiate doggy after a weird text exchange earlier that week when Mercury was most definitely in retrograde.
Is it difficult or weird to put so much of your personal life out there? I mean, I know from listening regularly I feel like I know you guys. Do people you meet act like they already know you just from listening?
Krystyna: It is, but I’ve been listening to podcasts for a long time now and I’ve felt the same way about people like Marc Maron. I geeked out so hard when I met him because I felt like we were good friends. When I would listen to his show, I could tell when he had a crush on his guest, I could tell when he felt intimidated by them or when he didn’t like them, I could tell when he was having an off day because his cat ran away. It’s such a unique situation because a podcast listener has a one-way intimate relationship with the hosts. When people meet us at shows they all say they feel like they know us, but I completely understand/love that part.
Corinne: It’s very weird. I wouldn’t say it’s difficult because that’s obnoxious since this was our fucking dumb ass idea in the first place, but it’s stressful for sure and I struggle with it a lot. It’s funny, all I ever wanted to be was famous, the most over-exposed thing you can be, and now that I have this teeny little taste of notoriety I honestly think anyone who enjoys fame must be mentally unstable. Like monogamy, it’s completely unnatural. I try not to think about it too much so that the podcast can continue to be as open and honest as it always has been. The fuckers definitely come up to us with a lot of knowledge of who we are, but I wouldn’t call it an act because, hey, they do. This podcast is the ultimate overshare. That being said, while a lot of people know a lot of loose (pun totally intended) facts about me, I think a lot of people still fall short of truly grasping who I am. And that’s not to say that I, in particular, am so complex, but I think humans in general are just more complex than even the most personal podcast would be able to capture. And I find great comfort in that.
What value do you think women discussing sex openly and honestly has?
Krystyna: It encourages other women to be honest and more accepting of their sexual choices. I also think there is a huge benefit for men listening to the show, we’ve heard it a lot in emails. Men listen to the podcast and it gives them more insight into what women are thinking sexually because traditionally, straight women aren’t open about that with straight men. It’s funny because we’ll talk about sex very openly… to the people we AREN’T having sex with. Most slut shaming is rooted in the fact that our society isn’t comfortable hearing women owning their sexuality but I’m very happy to report that both men and women seem to want more of this in their lives because side effects include things like having better sex!
Corinne: I think, quite simply, when you talk about something publicly, when you stop hiding something, the “shame” naturally melts away. Secrecy and shame go hand-in-hand — once secrecy peaces out, shame is left at the party without its wingman. It’s like, if we all start talking about this thing, we’ll all start realizing that we all are thinking these same “fucked up” thoughts. And, if everyone is having similar thoughts, common sense says they aren’t so much fucked up as they are perfectly human.
You have had episodes on serious subjects such as pedophilia, abortions and rape. What’s a perspective/story you would like to have on the podcast that you haven’t had yet?
Krystyna: One story that I really want to cover is from the perspective of the perpetrator in those situations. I want to talk to a rapist or a pedophile because while we hear stories from the victims of these horrible events, we NEVER hear from the fucked up mind that is carrying these things out and that would at least give me some insight and understanding. It would be very difficult to be in the same room as one of these people, but as Corinne has said on the podcast time and time again, if our society just casts these people away as monsters never to be seen again, it won’t solve the problem. Not saying that hearing one of these people will solve it, but it will at least give us some important information as to why these desires arise in the first place.
Corinne: We, like society, tend to concentrate on the perspective of the victim. I, however, am a firm believer that if we talk to the “bad person”, if we learn how he/she thinks, why he/she did what they did, maybe, in the future, we can have less victims. It’s all about understanding. And, to fully understand something, you must see it from all angles. So, I would like to speak to a rapist and a pedophile. I truly don’t believe many people wake up in the morning with the goal of being evil. I think, for the most part, people try to do the best they can with what they have while carrying all the baggage they have accrued over the years. So, what brings someone to treat a fellow human with such lack of dignity? That’s a conversation I want to be a part of.
What is the number one thing you want listeners to take away from the podcast?
Krystyna: Be comfortable and happy with who you are and the choices you make. If you aren’t happy with yourself, take a step back, re-evaluate and make the necessary changes that YOU feel you should make (not your friends or your parents or your co-workers). It’s not an easy thing to do, but the world will be a better, happier place if we all did!
Corinne: Confidence. It’s the number one thing lacking in pretty much everyone I know. And I’m not talking about wearing the word ‘CONFIDENT’ screen-printed on a tee from Forever 21. I’m talking about a true sense of self, or at least the foundation to start building that. You are in charge of quality control for one product and that is you – don’t be an item that gets recalled.
I love the collaboration you did with Poprageous- the leggings are obviously making a statement and by wearing them I would say that it’s a way of reclaiming these words. Do you think reclaiming the word slut helps women to be sexually liberated?
Krystyna: I do! I think it’s another way of taking ownership of your sexuality. Plus, it’s a great conversation starter.
Corinne: First off, thank you SO much. Secondly, it’s like, if I’m wearing these words on spandex that’s cradling my vagina, obviously I am comfortable with them and it’s you who is not. We are the ones who give words meaning, so why would we ever let a word that women are called way too often have a negative connotation? Sure, call me a slut – it says it on my leggings!
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oh, hell yes I listen to this podcast. Funny and informative. Thanks for the interview!