And just like that…
We’re back! Yes!
Where did you go?
Vacation. No, joking. It was just time. Scandalouswoman (then Scandalouswomen) was spinning our wheels. We’d developed somewhat of a cult following in the swinging, hotwife, cuckolding community and had garnered a little attention from third-wave feminist groups, but our base just wasn’t expanding. We always believed it would since those alternate sexual lifestyles were beginning to permeate the mainstream and our traffic did grow year over year but the engagement was small. The site was being funded completely by me and my husband so…
The business model wasn’t working.
Right! The business model wasn’t working. Banner ad clicks aren’t what they used to be and sites all over the net are feeling that hence the rise of paywalls on major news sites. We didn’t want to go that route then.
So what’s changed?
Well, banner ads are still with us. We’re also giving people the option to sponsor articles and even donate to us outright. It’s funny that when we announced we were going off line a few years back, donations started rolling in. We’re working with a small company that works with a few other sites so some of the costs will be spread out.
Let’s talk about the website. You modeled SW after Cosmo?
Yes. No. Yes… sort of.
For the Cosmo girl’s trashier sister?
That’s a term someone used when she reviewed us.
Is it accurate?
To a point, yes. I think we push limits a little more than Cosmopolitan ever has and even more so now that their print version has gotten a little tamer. We don’t have major advertisers that offend easily. If we really were sisters, SW would be the more worldly, more liberal one. We’re a little wilder yet smarter in the sense we embrace our feminist side a bit more.
How is Scandalous more feminist than Cosmo? It’s current incarnation was created by a feminist icon.
And I have the utmost respect for what Helen Gurly Brown did. Before she re-launched Cosmo in her own image, I don’t believe women had an outlet for frank and entertaining articles about sex. Like many women, Cosmo taught me to be proud of my sexuality. But here’s where we diverge. Cosmo teaches women how to please their men. Every article on sex ultimately instructs women to be a sex kitten for the man in their lives. There’s always a variation of the proverbial ‘bad girl sex moves to drive him wild’ article. There’s nothing inherently wrong with that approach though I believe it’s a little dated. SW is much more centered on women, our pleasure, and that men are here to please us. Sexually, we cover topics they won’t. BDSM and cuckolding to name a few. Politically, we’re not afraid to trash the conservative movement for their 1950s take on female sexuality. So, yeah, I think we’re more feminist.
Stiletto feminism.
Yes
Cosmo is lighter.
Yeah, yeah it is. And that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Making young women comfortable with their sexuality is something they do well. I mean, male orgasm denial isn’t for everyone and is probably a concept some young women aren’t ready to hear. Here’s an example, they ran an article on how a woman took her boyfriend to dominatrix. It was promoted as a hysterical story. And it was quite entertaining. But learning BDSM isn’t a joke. It can be very empowering, Doing a couple session with a professional Dominatrix is very instructive and fun but it’s very serious. If the idea is made light of then women won’t take it seriously and they’ll miss out.
Playgirl?
I think we’re more like Playgirl or a version of that magazine from an alternate timeline.
Alternate timeline? Would you happen to be a Star Trek fan?
Heh, yeah I am. And the multiverse approach DC and Marvel takes. I’m a geek at heart. My husband once asked what the evil Stephanie from an alternate universe would be like and I was like ‘I AM the evil one, we’re in that universe!’ What I mean is in the 70s, Playgirl was a female version of Playboy. Serious articles on feminist issues, lifestyle guides and, of course, nude men. Somewhere along the way they became Cosmopolitan with naked guys. If Playgirl had stayed the magazine they were in the 1970s, it would be a much more important mag than Cosmo today. Are they even still around?
They stopped publication for the second time in 2016, I believe. I heard they had only 3,000 subscribers by that point.
Tragic! Hey, if the owners of Playgirl’s IP are reading this, call me! I want the brand.
Like a lot of women, I smuggled them out of my mom’s room at night. It really was a great magazine back in the day and it was a big seller. Women seemed to buy it because, after the sexual revolution of the 60s, they could finally embrace that freedom.
I had similar experiences except I had a friend in middle school who would bring them to the bus stop. We’d huddle on the bus devouring every page. If you grew up in the 70s and 80s and even the 90s, Playgirl was a rite of passage, like sneaking cigarettes. It’s where you saw your first dick.
You mentioned cuckolding. Explain what that is.
Cuckolding as it’s known now is an arrangement a committed man and woman have in which she has multiple sexual partners but he doesn’t.
You believe that’s a good arrangement for women?
I believe it’s a great arrangement for women but it isn’t for everyone. Jealousy can be a big issue. A lot of men encourage it then, once it happens, are immediately remorseful and lash out at the wife or girlfriend. Relationships end over this. If you’re a guy, be careful what you wish for. She’ll love it even if you realize you don’t.
Some would say SW takes it further by encouraging women to cheat.
(laughing) Ah, a FOX News tactic, ‘some would say.’
But you have heard that.
I have.
Is it true?
No.
But you’ve ran articles that teach women how to cover their tracks when they cheat.
We have. Look, infidelity is human nature. Lots of people, lots of women, cheat for many reasons. I just read a piece that says cheating is hereditary and if your mother cheated, you likely will, too. There’s also research that suggests people aren’t naturally monogamous and that women have had mate insurance since the dawn of time, meaning they’ve always had a backup man in case their main breadwinner leaves or dies or whatever. I can’t judge them but I can help protect them from repercussions.
And that’s female empowerment?
It’s part of female sexual empowerment, yes. What you have to realize is this is nothing new for men. Men have had mistresses since the dawn of time. It was always contended that boys will be boys, right? But women were the ‘strong’ ones and were expected to stay faithful. But that’s just social and societal conditioning. We’re all sexual beings and I believe women’s true sexual nature was kept in check artificially through economics and fear. If women were kept as economic second class citizens, then they’d have few prospects if their husbands cut them loose after being discovered in an affair. The pill and greater career options have leveled the playing field with men. This is why you see so many conservatives in Washington doing everything they can to control women economically, sexually, and reproductively.
So female sexuality has a decidedly political aspect?
You bet, a decidedly liberal one.
And that has alienated some of your readers.
A few. This may sound like stereotypes, but some of my conservative readers cried foul when we ran pieces on the conservative movement’s efforts to make birth control more difficult to get and their tendency to slut shame. I think we’re all driven by sex, but conservative still want women controlled to a point, whereas liberals don’t. That’s a simplification, of course, but the basis is true. Look at the anti-abortion laws sweeping the country and how the Supreme Court is just going right along with them even though the vast majority of Americans don’t agree. It’s all a conservative white male power play. It’s their fringe replacement theory at work. They want to force women – especially white women – to have babies.
Scandalouswoman was offline through the entire Trump administration. How do you think gender politics has changed since?
Only his most ardent supporters will deny he was horribly sexist and bigoted which surprised the hell out of me. I used to watch his Apprentice show faithfully and now when I think about it I feel like I need a shower. But his opinions and policies didn’t just happen in the vacuum of Washington. They exposed the viciousness of our friends and neighbors, one we’d previously just agreed to disagree with. Well, much of the bile that came out over Trump’s tenure is simply unforgivable. I can’t agree to disagree anymore.
You’re a target, you believe?
Well, not me personally, but my kind, of course. Female. Ethnic (editor’s note: Stephanie is half Mexican), outspoken, political, sexual, independent. Yeah, those who check off so may boxes aren’t popular in some circles. And inc*ls! OMG! Women, girls, we’re being shot simply because we won’t sleep with them. Guys, come on. If you’re rejected, dust yourselves off and try again.
Good luck on your relaunch. The world is a different place than when Scandalouswoman left it.
Thank you! And a special shout out to all our writers past, present, and future. These young women are fearless and they rock!
