Before even laying eyes on Venus, the phrase feminine mystique radiated from her online presence. Her demeanor oozes confidence and power. She’s told me her closest friends describe her as fearless, driven, and compassionate, and as she shares her views on open relationships and cuckolding, I understand why. After all, the Greek Goddess she’s named after was not only the goddess of love and beauty but also of sexual infidelity.
Deeply intrigued with this relationship dynamic, I dived into the Venus Cuckoldress podcast and became lost in the world of cages, freedom, realized fantasies, and sexual fulfillment and empowerment.
WHAT IS CUCKOLDING?
“For me, cuckolding is a one-sided open relationship where he is faithful to her, but she is not faithful to him, and they both love it that way,” she explains nonchalantly as if it’s the most common relationship type in the world. It’s not, of course, but it’s also nothing new. According to clinical psychologist Dr. David Ley’s definitive book Insatiable Wives: Women Who Stray and the Men Who Love Them, cuckolding has been around as long as human sexuality has.
“In my book, I talk about examples of this lifestyle in the Bible, in many non-Western cultures, and throughout Western history,” says Ley. “What is new today is that the Internet has allowed more men and women who might be interested in this lifestyle to learn that they are not alone in these desires.”
Venus adds, “with cuckolding relationships, there is usually some form of power imbalance where she’s in charge and makes the decisions on who she sleeps with, and there’s often some form of sexual denial for the man.”
Some men in cuckolding relationships are not allowed intercourse with their wife or girlfriend but are expected to service them orally and on-demand. Or sex can be held out as a reward for her man for some predefined deeds and accomplishments.
“Each couple is unique, though,” Venus stresses.
The theme has become a staple in romance novels and streaming TV series and is also one of the most common sexual fantasies among both men and women. In his book Tell Me What You Want, Justin J. Lehmiller, Ph.D., surveyed 4,175 Americans and found that 26 percent of heterosexual women and 52 percent of heterosexual men fantasize about it.
Venus’ lips curl up in a mischievous yet sensual grin as she details her introduction to cuckolding and her erotic adventures, philosophy, and sexual independence that would make most women envious if they were honest with themselves. This subject is a passion for her.
“I was so excited and blown away by everything I was learning about cuckolding and wanted an outlet for that,” she tells me. “I wanted to be able to share my story. I never thought [my podcast and website] would blow up the way it did, though.”
Her listeners learn the secrets to a strong, safe, and very sensual cuckolding relationship through her podcast. In a different vein, she also discusses her personal experiences, hosts interviews with fellow cuckold enthusiasts, and stresses the importance of communication and honesty.
But how did this petite blonde from Western Canada go from being a certified Allied Health Instructor to an online sensation in the world of sexual adventures? As with many modern age love stories, it started with Tinder.
HOOKUP APP REELS IN HER FIRST CUCK
In 2015 while swiping left and right through a bevy of potential boy toys, Venus made a connection that would positively change her world for the rest of her life.
“He got really excited listening to me tell him about my other partners, and he told me he wanted to be my cuck, but at the time, I had only a very vague idea about what that was,” Venus explains, her dark eyes drifting off to the time and space where the life she knows and loves today all started.
“Then the door opened,” she continues, her voice laced with excitement. “He explained to me what it was all about, and I was in awe.”
“In retrospect, it was everything I had ever wanted, but I didn’t even know it was an option. I thought it would be too selfish to want a boyfriend who would not get jealous or give me a bunch of limits and boundaries of who I could be with. And I always wanted the freedom to explore my sexuality.”
The experienced involved Venus making a sexual connection with another guy while allowing her Tinder date to listen on the phone.
“It was the sexiest thing I’ve ever done in my life,” she gushes, adding the rush of the experience lasted for days. “It was like losing my virginity all over again!”
Memories can be intoxicating, and this one is a lingering high for Venus. She approaches it like it’s her mythology, one the original Venus of antiquity would envy.
“I was not at all prepared for how that would effect me,” she exclaims. “I had no idea! I just went into it thinking it was going to be fun. I’m just going to let him listen on the phone, and I’m going to meet up with this guy, and it’s going to be fun, and I had no idea!”
Venus is in something resembling ‘Domme Space” now, a mental state of being where her emotions and thoughts intensify and focus on the dominant sexual experience in the now or the recollection of it.
“So I had him listen on the phone, and it was so sexy. It was probably the most thrilling experience I’ve ever had because it wasn’t just that he was listening in on the phone; it was that kind of cocktail of emotions that he was having at that moment, mixed with me, so excited, that I could control how turned on he got. And I loved that. And I recognized that as soon as I stepped into that.”
“I remember realizing, ‘oh my god, this is fun. I can do this!’ And then there was this conversation that he and I were having on the phone while there was also this other guy orchestrating what was going on as well, and oh. my. god. This is the sexiest thing I’ve ever done! And that rush, that intensity of emotion, lasted for days after that. I was hooked from then on.”
IT’S A MAN’S GAME. UNTIL IT’S NOT
In her experience, Venus explains that 90 % of the time, the men bring up the possibility of cuckolding, and it is women that balk at the idea at first. And why wouldn’t they? Religious and societal traditions have equated female sexuality with shame to keep it suppressed for centuries. One of the first laws in recorded history was an order to stone women to death who’d had sex with more than one man! In the past, women would be left destitute, with no education and no means to support themselves, if caught cheating. Add the stigma of being branded a whore, and you’ll see why it was seldom in their best interests to get a little on the side – with or without their husband’s knowledge. But more economic independence for women since the sexual revolution of the 1960s has expanded sexual horizons for women. So while the guys usually introduce women to female-focused alternative sexual lifestyles, it’s the ladies who insist on continuing them when the male partner in the relationship considers bailing.
In episode 27: The Sexually Powered Woman, Venus touches on this during a discussion with fellow cuckoldress, Mae. Fairly new to cuckolding, Mae shares her story of how before her husband admitted to such fantasies, she had never considered such a dynamic. Finally, however, she and her husband discussed the possibility of cuckolding honestly- including all of the tiny details about the fantasy- and it opened up a whole new world for them.
“It’s the power to make your husband melt just by stepping into your power,” Mae says in the Venus interview before attributing a part of her cuck-relationship education to the Venus Cuckoldress website.
In another episode, Venus interviews a couple who go by D and S. In this interview, the discussion goes deep into the sexual pleasure of degradation, humiliation, and sexual denial.
But when is the right time to degrade or humiliate? That is between the cuck and their cuckoldress. So again, communication and honesty become keys in creating a very personal and truthful relationship.
SOME MAN IS YELLING, “HEY! WHAT’S IN IT FOR ME!!??”
So, what’s in it for the cuck? If he has an all-consuming love for his woman, seeing her achieving sexual freedom, empowerment, and pleasure with other men is the main driver. Others say it’s the excitement that comes from the communication and interaction that develops as such fantasies unfold. In all aspects, however, it is easy to see that the most pleasure comes from the participants being allowed to be exactly who they feel they are, and being celebrated for it in a way that communicates, love, trust, and security.
With her soft voice, commanding presence, and open mind, Venus has created a new venue of education and exploration into the cuckolding world that must be explored.
“With honesty and communication, the cuckold dynamic can build a solid foundation of deep love and trust.” She states
Listen to her podcast here.
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